


Cramping My Style

by SmolDargon



Series: Adventures in Anatomy [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, anatomical discussion, discussion of menstruation, mild saucy implications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29983923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolDargon/pseuds/SmolDargon
Summary: Movie night is always fun! Except when the human isn't quite feeling her best.
Series: Adventures in Anatomy [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205429
Kudos: 2





	Cramping My Style

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Discussion of menstuation, and how it's handled. It's time we normalize this stuff. 
> 
> I like to think Papyrus would be a gentleman about the situation.

It was Monday. The human's one and only guaranteed day off. She was normally also off on Tuesdays, but this week she only had Monday. They had made plans to have cheap takeout and watch videos on YouTube that night. It was Papyrus's turn to select the exact place to order from, and thus also his turn to pay. They'd had pizza last time, so this time he ordered from a Chinese place. He set the address to the human's house, and threw on some lounge clothes. He maintained that pants were a bare minimum, but lately he and the human had become quite comfortable together. She was fascinating, and a wonderful companion. He had toyed with the idea of officially asking her on a date even. But the thought of her still-fresh grief over her previous late boyfriend, as well as his own sensitivity to the possibility of rejection held him back.

He arrived at her place well ahead of the scheduled delivery time, letting himself in with her spare key. Neither of her cats ran to greet him this time, though they did look up from their places on the couch, the tabby meowing softly at him. He hadn't spoken with the human that day except to confirm their plans. She was curled up on the couch under a blanket, a look of discomfort on her face. She quickly hid the pain behind a friendly smile, standing to greet her skeletal friend.

"Hey, Paps! Here a bit earlier than I was expecting, as usual. Got your comfy duds on, I see."

"OF COURSE! I CAME PREPARED FOR LOUNGING! And Maybe Also Some Cuddling."

He was wearing his pajamas with skulls printed on them, as well as his trademark red gloves. She was clad in her hand-me-down black sweatpants and blue pullover hoodie, both of them a couple of sizes too big for her. Most of her clothes were secondhand, from her mother or her cousin. She seemed to prefer them to buying newer ones; secondhand was cheaper and didn't involve shopping.

"That sounds awesome."

She slouched a little as she spoke, looking less peppy and more like she was in pain every passing second. She sat down, flipping the blanket up so Papyrus could sit next to her. He did, and she flipped the blanket back down over the both of them.

"IS YOUR BACK HURTING YOU AGAIN? OR PERHAPS YOUR KNEE? I CAN TRY TO HEAL THEM A LITTLE IF YOU LIKE."

She sighed heavily. "No, that's not what's bothering me. I'm just really uncomfortable. I'm cramping pretty bad, and my joints just all ache. The cold doesn't help."

The idea of muscle cramps had been a novel one for the skeleton. Yet, she didn't react the way he expected. She had stretched funny once and gotten a cramp in her calf, causing her to double over, clutching her leg and cursing. It had been rather horrific to witness; her sweatpants had ridden up so her leg was actually visible, and he could see the muscles in the back of her lower leg pulsating and throbbing. It had looked incredibly painful. Now, however, she just looked tense and uncomfortable. None of her muscles were visibly disturbed, either.

"THIS IS A DIFFERENT TYPE OF CRAMP", he observed bluntly.

Inwardly, she cursed his uncanny powers of perception. He always noticed the subtle details. A skill borne of necessity for both of them.

"Yes, it is... it's a cramp in one of my organs, rather than a skeletal muscle."

He gasped, "THAT CAN HAPPEN?!"

"Yeah, it's pretty painful. But it's also normal, given the circumstances. I already took some painkillers, I'm just waiting for them to kick in."

Her nonchalant attitude worried him. He knew there was a lot to human physiology that he didn't understand, and he knew he should trust her knowledge of the body she had inhabited for the past twenty-odd years, but he still worried that pain could be considered normal.

"HOW IS THIS IN ANY WAY NORMAL? DO HUMANS JUST NATURALLY HURT ALL THE TIME?"

She smiled ruefully.

"To quote a character from a recent TV show, women are 'yarn balls of aching tubes'".

He cocked a brow at her, initiating a gentle staring contest. She caved quickly, as he knew she would. She hated eye contact.

"So, um.... how much do you know about human anatomy? Specifically regarding, um. Reproduction."

Oh. They were really about to have this discussion. This was about to become supremely awkward, at least for Papyrus. He was always modest and timid when it came to intimate topics. Meanwhile, the human was a scientist at heart; she wasn't the type to shy away from sensitive topics. That wasn't to say she was tactless, just that she lacked the normal sense of shame regarding biology. She had said more than once, "it's just a body".

Papyrus froze for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"I! Know Actually Very Little with regards to..... that."

His voice wavered and dropped in volume as he spoke. He really wasn't sure he wanted to be having this conversation, but his own morbid curiosity demanded answers.

She just shrugged.

"I figured as much. People get weird about it for some reason. So, what I'm going to tell you does not change anything. I am still tough and capable and not made of spun glass. I just hurt sometimes. Got it?"

"Understood."

Her pride demanded that she always appear strong and unyielding, but she was willing to drop the facade now and again for his benefit. She just didn't want him hovering over her like she might die, the way he had when she'd gotten the flu.

"Ok. So, might as well just start at the beginning... Humans are not born sexually mature. That is a change that occurs in their teenage years, normally hitting females first. Guys have it a little easier; they get body hair, their voice deepens, they have to learn to deal with the sudden increase in testosterone, etc. Women, on the other hand...."

She paused, cringing slightly. It seemed she was indeed in a bit of pain. She sucked in a breath before continuing. Not knowing what to do, Papyrus just sat and listened.

"Because the females are the ones who actually carry a fetus, our bodies actually spend time and energy preparing. We are, unfortunately, still animals. High-functioning ones, perhaps, but animals nonetheless. And our reproductive system is designed for the singular purpose of procreation. It doesn't matter that some of us don't want children, our bodies still prepare for them every single month. Over the course of around three weeks, the uterus builds up a lining designed to receive a fertilized egg and allow it to develop into an embryo--hold on, do you know what a uterus is?"

He flushed bright orange. Part of him was leery of her explanation, the other part didn't want to admit that he had done some "research" of his own in the field of human reproduction. The internet truly had everything. In the end, he just nodded mutely and hoped for the best.

"Oh, good. And I assume you also know what a vagina is."

He nodded again, "CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET THIS OVER WITH?"

She chuckled.

"Oh, you sweet summer child. We haven't even gotten to the meat of the matter. Point is, the uterus prepares a nice comfy lining for this potential child over the course of around three weeks. If the woman gets pregnant, yay! That egg can just implant into the lining and grow into a tiny little baby--they look like fuckin' aliens until they're like two years post birth, and even then they stay annoying forever."

Her acid tone confirmed his suspicions regarding her attitude towards kids. He suspected she would be perfectly happy with her cats and her horses.

"But if she ends up not getting pregnant, suddenly that lining is unnecessary. So, it gets expelled. Over the course of a week. And the uterus cramps up to encourage the lining to shed. And we bleed and discharge clumps of tissue for a week."

He didn't look as horrified as she had expected. If anything, he suddenly seemed more sympathetic to her pain. It made sense now, and he realized she had indeed been truthful when she'd said there wasn't much to be done.

"The whole process is driven by hormones, and so there's a few other side effects. Mood swings, depression, cramps, fatigue, soreness, just to name a few. On top of all that, lots of women experience additional complications. Those, unfortunately, run in my family. My grandma and I both suffer painful cramps, my mom needed blood transfusions because she bled so much, my sister has endometriosis, and I have ovarian cysts. None of these maladies are considered 'medically significant'--which is just a stupid way of saying 'these are woman problems and we don't care to treat them'--but they are certainly unpleasant to experience."

 _Now_ he looked rather upset. He didn't know what some of those terms meant, but he understood two very important things. First, this was a normal process with painful side effects and the potential for even more painful complications. And second, human doctors were willing to discount a woman's complaints simply because they pertained to female issues.

"HOW COULD A DOCTOR, IN GOOD CONSCIENCE, DISREGARD HIS PATIENTS' COMFORT AND WELL-BEING? THAT SEEMS COMPLETELY COUNTERINTUITIVE!"

She cringed again, then gave him a withering look.

"Because the medical system has long been dominated by men, and both they and plenty of their female counterparts are taught from a system that still sees menstruation as a symptom of hysteria, a syndrome that exists solely in the minds of its sufferers. In other words, 'we are just being dramatic, it's all in our heads, and we should just suck it up and deal with it'. And then they wonder why we get mad when they refuse to prescribe us birth control or hysterectomies."

He shared in her anger. Truly, the human medical system was innately flawed, possibly beyond repair. Their discussion was interrupted by the arrival of their food. He almost didn't want to watch any videos now; he wanted to discuss ways he and his fellow monsters could help change the broken idea of human medicine. But she seemed to be tired of discussing it, and he could hardly blame her, if things were really as bad as she said.

"SO, THE WHOLE…. 'BLEEDING FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT' THING…"

She looked up in surprise, chopsticks in hand. She hadn't expected him to want to continue the discussion, especially over dinner.

"What about it?"

"IT SOUNDS UNCOMFORTABLE. HOW DO YOU MANAGE THAT? YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT'S NOT UNDER CONSCIOUS CONTROL."

"That's correct. We can't just… hold it, the way we hold our urine. I wish we could, it would have saved me a lot of embarrassment, and several pairs of pants."

"WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THAT?"

She balked.

"Wh--you actually want to know? Most people don't really talk about this, especially guys. They tend to shy away from it. "

He was suitably insulted.

"WELL, THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLY INCONSIDERATE, GIVEN THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T JUST CHOOSE TO SUFFER THESE MALADIES. I STILL WANT TO HELP, EVEN IF IT'S AS SIMPLE AS KEEPING SUPPLIES ON HAND IN THE EVENT THAT IT CROPS UP UNEXPECTEDLY."

She eyed him dubiously. His offer sounded sincere, but there was really only one way to be sure.

"Well, everyone deals with it a little differently, but the majority of us use either pads or tampons. Pads are basically just like cotton… pads… that we stick in our underwear to absorb the discharge. Tampons are wads of cotton we actually stick in our vaginas for the same purpose. Those two methods are the basic 'tried-and-true' ways we go about it, but lately, people have been inventing other ways to deal with it that are more comfortable and eco-friendly."

"WELL, THAT SOUNDS EASY ENOUGH. DO YOU HAVE A PREFER--Ohh That Might Be Too Personal A Question, you don't have to answer that one."

She was surprised he had actually listened. He seemed genuinely interested in helping. She fell easily back into her cold, scientific ways. If he really wanted answers, she would give them to him.

"Well, each has it's pros and cons. Pads feel like you're sitting in a diaper, especially when they're pretty full. Tampons hurt me, but lots of other people like them. Some people like those underwear that are specifically designed for you to free-bleed into, I don't trust them. I'm a cup person, myself. It's internal, like a tampon, which means no feeling like a wet diaper, but it's not inserted as far in as a tampon, so it's not painful. It's not perfect, so I usually double up with a smaller pad or a liner."

He seemed legitimately interested, and not at all grossed out--a far cry from the skeleton that had purged his nonexistent guts at the mention of an open brain injury. Perhaps he was acclimating to the fact that humans had viscera and fluids.

"GOOD TO KNOW. I BET THAT FEELS GROSS, SO LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE WITH OUT TAKEOUT AND SOME MARKIPLIER!"

"Ha! Sure, why not? I don't think I can actually forget how gross this feels, but sure, I can ignore it for a while. Subnautica alright?"

"ABSOLUTELY!"


End file.
